i need you

im trying to breathe now... and it is not easy....

why am i trying to breathe? literally and factually...

factually.. the athma within me is coming back to haunt me.. and it hurts..

literally... heartbreak makes your breathing harder for some reason..

yes, i'm heartbroken again for the fifth time.. and i wonder will these beautiful things ever come back..

im holding back from crying.. exams are here.. need to focus on what is important..

im holding back from giving up in life.. also because of exams...

basically im hurting.. so much...

and i hate this part right here...

so many things to ponder about.. yet so many things to burst through with the willpower and courage given by the creation of the Almighty...

at the same time people never realise all these is happening inside a person.. for eyes only shine sorrrowness.. but is able to be covered with smiles and laughters...

im smiling...

im a good girl....

i'll make it through...

and i will look back and smile wider...

for learning from my mistakes...

ps: i love you

feelingsss

why is it that when you are extremely sad you tend to write a lot??
its not like anyone is gonna read it... so basically no one knows your fucking sadness or (the reason why i stated fuck there) your anger.. and when somehow your whatever writing comes into the hands of whoever that someone is.. you feel so naked that they (in a way) know your secrets.. in a way that is.. well.. writing makes you feel calm sometimes.. but to me.. it still sucks.. well.. maybe its bcoz i dont really know how the hell it is to express my feelings or ideas or whatever that is in my stupiud little imaginary not very intelligent mind... sigh.... should be studying write now but i know that if i actually read a book i might break into pieces or break into tears again...

silly me... stupid me... lemah me......

its the simple little thoughts that makes you one to give up in life yet, its the simple little things also that will make you wanting to live life...

fights.. love... jealousy... hatred... backstabbing.. betrayal.. tears... slipped disc... yep.. kalau diberikan iman yang kurang.. akan ku bunuh diri skarang jugak..
kalau diberikan akal yang kurang bijak.. akan ku kelar diriku.. akan ku merokok.. akan ku mainkan perasaan orang lain sesuka hati..

babies... babies.. family.. motherhood.. true love.. friendship.. the sparkles of water... the twinkle of the stars... yep... makes me one to move on and live life.. come what may...

for now.. come what may my fucking ASS

sejarah encik adam

o0o0.. hahha... busy rantling all about the new place i lupa nak cakap pasal my sis.. ok, so they went to the hospital at 9am on tuesday.. mama was home with me and die sangat risau and tried very hard not to call them constantly.. kelakar.. mama macam cuba tanak contact boyfriend yang baru brake up.. she was so gelisah that she (obviously mengarahkan me to help her) pergi and ubahsuai the furnitures in the baby room and ended up leaving it like it was in the first place.. HAHAHAHA..

ape la mama ni...

by luch time mama dah tak keruan cam kene tinggal bf so we finally joined the forces at klinik AZ-Zahra by 3pm... adoi.. time tu air ketumban kakak baru pecah kot... so to cut the story short, we waited and waited until mama finally tengok kakat kat OR.. mama kata doktor kate kakak sakit sangat smpai tak sedar yang she terkepit and lentik badan yang membuatkan baby susah nak kuar untill baby nye heartbeat dah makin lemah..

huyoo.... (drama kan???)

so akhirnya kakak diberi epidural dan lahirlah ke dunia at 6.08pm, 14 April 09, 2.14kg, 45cm (ehem2)... drumrollss please....

Encik Baby Mohd Adam bin Mohd Elyas!!!!

(applaud!!!!)

balck canyon yang besh

okeh... updates... gonna blog as much as i can... assigment yang banyak agak telah disiapkan... so i went home untuk menanti kehadiran anak sedara ku yang pertama.. waaaa!!!!!
so then, my sis was due on tueasday.. because doctor said yang encik baby dah turun.. so kakak pun balik and we waited for the big day!!

sementara tu.. we treated kakak to all the places ahe wanted to go.. al maklum.. lepas bersalin kene pantang 2 bulan kan.. wahaha.. so mane leh mamam..

there was this one super 'cunted' place.. Black Canyon.. its famous for the coffee lor.. but the food was a glimpse of heaven.. oh yeaa!! the tomyam was one of the most authentic, the sup biasa was gila terangkat, while i ordered a 'berani mati' dish; fussili cooked with tomyam and tuna.. yea.. can u imagine??

turned out. it was another glimpse of heaven.. neverthought a crazy combination like that would not taste like cat food.. it had the textures and the sweetness, sourness and pedasness all in the rite places.. haha..

o0o0o0... and the air... waaaaa.... man, you should really go see yourself.. heeee

emo

why can he flirt but i cant?

hate this...

boyfrens suck

ahhhh!!!!!

MARAHNYE!!

eh!!saimen....

yaaa...

out of 13 or 12 assignments, i have managed to finish most of them.. now.. ada lagi 4.. (wah! sangat hebat!!) ya.. dan sila applaud for my kehebatan.. hahaha... maceh banyak2 kepada my friends yang banyak menolong dan memberi support.. ecah, wani, wana, danny, ratna, tawfik, lau dan sume la.. yeah!!

kini berada di bilik ecah bersama-sama memulun encik ehsaimen yang banyak..

baru pulang dai mcD..

its an irony that during these times all the whatever penyakit pun tiba dengan tangan yang terbuka..(ada tangan ke?) hmmm...

sedang ci bi... saket..

ci bi .... ci+bi= cirit birit...

so far dah sampai cibi3... makan ape pun nak muntah.. badan sangat lemah... camana nak buat ehsaimen ni..

haa!! i know how...!!!

how??

STOP BLOGGING AND START WORKING YOU IDIOT

laha

sepatutnya buat assignment.. sigh.. banyaknya assignment.. fish laaa

hmm... saya suke main.. saya suke malas.. saya suke kerja

ha!! amek kau!! dok komited sangat dekat whatever you were in.. now.. what's happening?? they hate you for your pengorbanan and you're stuck with all these crap..

memang saya crap pun.. hmm..

sangat frust.....